I have alot of thoughts.
I just don't care enough about them to elaborate.
So, when I start writing, I only get a line out.
Then I think of that line as garbage and abuse the backspace.
I could think up a billion things that are completely unrelated, and just write them all down! It wouldn't make the slightest bit of sense, but I sure as hell could if I felt like it.
I always feel like it, actually.
Whenever I'm thinking, I think, I should write this down
Then I immediately dismiss the thought because I lack motivation.
I need a reason to keep writing in this little box
No one reads this
I don't even read it
absolutely pointless.
I could change font for each new thought.
I don't know quite why
but I
really
really
really
love to skip lines
New line
new thought
absolutely no
punctuation.
Please note that I did indeed make that period rather large to prove a point.
Was I supposed to change the font for that thought?
It was related to the previous thought so I figured I should skip two lines but keep the font the same
...this thought is also related to the previous two though...
Font thing - NOT WORKING OUT.
at all.
not even a little bit.
*sigh*
I have the most unimportant
boring
pointless thoughts
yet I'm still writing.
because I can't stop
well, I could stop
but my fingers would get all tingly.
What if I just stopped with this whole skipping lines thing? What if I typed like a normal person, and hardly ysed the enter key at all?
I'll have to try that sometime.
Theres this guy.
Who's my best friend.
but I like him.
It's nice.
I guess
I don't know,
But you know how I wrote those poems for Amber? About the guy she likes? I was totally thinking of the guy I like while writing them. . .
and I figure, either we'll grow stronger
or completely fall apart
lets hope for the first one
Fine....she can ignore me.
I'm tired of waiting for a reply I'm not going to get
waiting to fix something thats impossible
I can't stand not talking to her
but if this is how it's going to end
then
I
give
up
...I've never given up on anyone before.
I dont like it when someone is upset and I can't do anything about it. It makes me weak, powerless, like I'm letting them down. Whenever I see someone, anyone, who's hurting I try to help. Even if I'm just listening, I can't stand to see people in pain. Not physical pain, emotional pain...because I've been that person. The one who's never happy, who's always putting on a smile for everyone else. I've been through hell. And it kills me to see even people I hate feeling hopeless.
You'd think I'd avoid talking about those things completely because of the memories it triggers, everytime I flashback to the old me. The depressed me. Who wanted out of her body. Wanted out of her life.
Thank god I've changed. I had a friend who shoved me through tough times, and thats all I needed. Was someone to listen to me and tell me everything would be alright, someone to care about me when I couldn't make it through the night.
My best friend killed herself, maybe thats another reason why. Why I want to let everyone know that even when no one else does, I care about them.
I wasn't always like this...I've changed so much.
....I like orange.
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