I wish I could drop my artificial smile
and half witted lies

All I've ever wanted to be is human
but all I've ever felt
is like a monster fighting a battle
with myself

Walking and talking
without knowing feeling
hurting but never healing
No talents
no dreams
a zombie constantly
trying to be
what everyone else wants my mirror to see
now I can't believe this monster is me

I want to be human
I want prince charming to love me
I want to look down
but sent prayers above me

I want concrete hourglasses
and wish on number as time passes
all I've ever wanted is to feel alive
but all I see
is a monster inside

I'm a secondhand vintage version of myself
Continually compared to everyone else
I wish I could put the mirror down
remove the makeup
turn around
life isn't as simple
when it's your own in your hands
take off your mask
it might help you understand
that I won't let myself be human
because they make mistakes
take Barbie dolls and altered reflections
I'm what that makes.
All I've ever wanted is to feel human
but I'd rather be a monster
than feel this fake.

If I Were To Write a Book

I want to make a documentary using nothing but a camera
on city buses.
Because I have a million ideas of what the story behind each face that gets on might be.
And sometimes I feel like writing it down.