And I Just Wanted To Say I'm Sorry.

I sat down silently

looked around the room

I promised to be friendly

so I smiled right at you

your eyes lit up, you waved right back

and then I turned away

it took a minute

to meet my best friend that day

Three years ago

three years too short

but now it seems so long ago

you meant everything to me

I just didn't let it show

I jumped on stage

you followed close behind

You never walked away

when I had something on my mind

my best friend

my other half

You cry, I'd cry

then try to make you laugh

I had your smile through the good times

your shoulder through the bad

I have some silly picture

of every memory we had

You were there when Alicia died

even when I couldn't cry

you were there when I said

"I'm fine"

Because you knew it was a lie

I remember sitting through play practice

crying by your side

I was falling apart

you promised not to leave my life

You listened to my mistakes

told me what wasn't right

you read everything I wrote

when I couldn't sleep at night

You got angry when I told myself

I wasn't anything at all

you walked by my side

falling behind to catch my falls

You know my deepest secrets

how to break through my shell

you never got tired of me

you know me too well.

and then I changed,

I became someone you didn't know

I drifted

You watched me go,

we still spoke

but not enough

yet you stood with me

when things got touch

suddenly

those summer memories

seemed so far away

suddenly you looked at me

and didn't know what to say

I glared at you

I threw three years out the window

why?

I don't know.

And now you're gone

because of

my

stupid

mouth.

I stumbled upon some photographs

while cleaning today

birthday parties

acting competitions

you're everywhere but here

I just wanted to say I'm sorry

I'm making a change

for the better this time.

I wont have you by my side this next year

I won't have a shoulder to cry

Looking back on all of this

I never said goodbye,