T-Swizzle

You are an expert at sorry

and keeping lines blurry 

never impressed by me acing your tests. 

All the girls that you run dry 

have tired lifeless eyes 

'cause you

burned

them

out.

But I took your matches before fire could catch me

so don't look now.

I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town. 

Ugh. People.

You are so fucking cool. Please, oh please let me be just like you when I grow up. You're just so awesome and different from everyone else that I dream of being like you.

Not.

Congratulations. You can mock someone who killed themselves. Want a cookie? What do you accomplish by doing that? Do you sleep easier knowing you completely disrespected A) Anyone who knew her or cared about her death, and B) Anyone who has felt that way. You can have all of the opinions that you want about why, how, when, or even if she deserved it. But putting it up for anyone to see is nothing but disrespectful. 

Posting things like that and laughing at it like it's a joke is what starts things like this. 

You are no better than a bully. The kind of bully who made that girl kill herself. 

Congratulations. 

I Fucking Hate School.

Sleeping is easier when I'm huddled next to you.
So much easier.

Two Cents.

People always seem to forget they have the ability to move on. Humans can adapt to almost anything, given enough time. 

I always seem to forget that moving on takes time and effort, and I won't wake up in the morning feeling fine. 

But fuck it.

Life is way too short to spend sitting around thinking about people who don't think about you, or missing people who destroyed you. 

It's five in the fucking morning and I'm wide awake. I want to ride my bike around town for an hour, but I haven't even slept yet. So I guess that's out of the question. I could just watch more Pretty Little Liars, but I think it's time I switch up my late night "television" and watch a movie or something on Netflix. I could text Trevor, but I'd feel bad for waking him up. I want to dye my hair. I want to dye it so hard that I look really different. That would be swell. First I need to wash it, which I haven't done in a few days. I'm trying to get my hair healthier this summer, which involves washing it less often and a lot of braids. I could just not sleep tonight...I could get up right now, hop on my bike and take it for a spin around the neighborhood until I get tired. I've been contemplating doing that for a few hours now, but I keep thinking that the second I get up, I'm going to be exhausted. So here I am. Wide awake. I went to bed early last night! How did I go from sleeping at 2, to sleeping at 6? 

Ugh. Life. l: I'm going to be sleeping until like 5 P.M. tomorrow if I don't go to bed soon. 

I have no words.

If our love finds it's way to heaven 
all but too soon
I hope all roads lead back to you
and come December all I'll think about is June.

It's 5 A.M and I'm still awake writing a blog.

Is there something wrong with me? Or do all normal people fall asleep to Geek Charming every night?

I just love that movie so much. There is nothing not-adorable about it. 

And do all normal people suddenly become nocturnal once the clock strikes summer? Tomorrow I am waking up at noon no matter how much sleep I get. Just kidding. I already know how things will go down. I'll wake up at noon, press snooze on my alarm, and as soon as I know it it'll be 3. 

Oh my, it's light outside. 

I want my pink shirt back! I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK.

I need new friends. Ones that aren't assholes.
I take that back, they're not assholes. As a matter of fact, most of them are really nice people. It just really peeves me when someone asks me to hang out, and then I log on to facebook and see they're with someone else. And then I'm sitting there, alone, watching Say Yes To The Dress, wondering why I even make time for you. Bitch please. The next time I'm out and about, spending my time with nice non-asshole people, and you ask me if I can hang out I'm gonna be like FUCK YES LETS HANG OUT RIGHT THIS MOMENT. Then I'll stay right where I am and not even bother to fill you in on the fact that we're not really hanging out. I hope you spend that night alone, watching Say Yes to the Dress. Writing in your blog about how much of an asshole I am for blowing you off. 
But for right now, I hope you had a jolly good time tonight. Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness? 
If you didn't get that reference...just go. 
Today I'm gonna start my mission. This summer, my goal is to get unbelievably pretty. Not because I fucking hate how I am right now, but to make everyone feel like shit. Especially my asshole friend. This way, maybe I won't have to hear another snarky comment about the way I dress, my hair, or my appearance in general.
"I don't see why you don't shop here, they've got all of those ugly-cute clothes you wear."
*Picks up XXL sweat pants* "Who am I? I'm you! You know, because you wear baggy clothes"
Bitch it's sweats.
"I can't see you with a normal hair color, it's gonna be so weird."
"She's so pretty!
...You'd look like her if you lost some of your face fat."
I was never this insecure before I met them.


And then when school starts, I'm going to get a lead in the play, and make a whole bunch of new friends so I'm always too busy for her. 
Because it makes me feel like a bundle of shit to know that I'm the last fucking person you ever want to spend time with.